Season 3 (2011)
EPISODES
1. Raise Your Hand
I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.
2. Magazines
Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.
3. Jetlag
Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.
4. Santa
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.
5. Presentation 4
War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.
6. Jewish Looking Girl
She’s a rock star of David.
7. Layers
It’s freezing cold under all these layers.
8. Call My Phone
Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.
9. Trenta
Start the morning with a gallon of joe.
10. Evil Dragon
It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.
11. Police
I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.
12. Mug Shot
Is this the duckface of a criminal?
13. Jail
Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.
14. Dishwasher
Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.
15. Pillow Talk
Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.
16. Sex and Sexuality (Very Maggie Smith)
Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.
17. Sleeping in Class
Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.
18. Professor’s Presentation
Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.
19. Slumber Party
First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.
20. Pills
Take once per day with a picture of food.
21. Comet
Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.
22. Draw Something
Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.
23. The Case of the Cracked Cup (Very Maggie Smith 2)
When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.
24. Summer House
Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.
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